Reflecting on 'ME'

You know, you certainly are not born aware of what you were placed on this beautiful earth to do.  Many of us probably have some idea of what inspires us and the actions and “jobs” that bring us to life, but you don’t arrive in this life with a certificate that says, “healer, teacher, social worker, graphic designer….”  You, of course, are blessed with an abundance of hints along the way, but our purpose is always ours alone to discover, through a series of heart-opening, heart expanding occurrences.  Some take your breath divinely away leaving you mesmerized, and others knock the wind right out of you will all the force in the world it seems.   Either way, the messages are waiting in each of them.

When I was a child, my mama often called me, “Mother Earth”.  She said I was such a nurturing and loving soul who always was playing somewhere in nature.  Trees especially held my attention for long periods of time.  I often found myself climbing trees, lying in or under them, sometimes even talking with them, and sharing my heartfelt expressions. 

Growing up in Oklahoma, my Dad spent a lot of time taking me fishing on his weekends, or we would jump in the car for mini-roadtrips across the state.  We always landed somewhere rocky, and slightly elevated, and so I spent many weekends climbing to the top of Oklahoma’s “mountains”.  I appreciate that my Dad taught me the value of challenging yourself to reach the top, and the magnificent view that always awaits you. 

Oh, and the beautiful, aching and rich American Indian energy that coursed through that state, no doubt shaped my spirit’s deep yearning for a connection rooted in the natural world.  That energy always coursed through my blood, and without question endures today, though magnified significantly.  As a child nobody teaches you how to walk unaltered and unashamed of the whispers of your soul, in the face of the world.  And so for many years, I hid.

My heart always fearlessly sought a life anchored in service, and even when ‘I’ was not formally open to providing that, it found me.  I recall times on the playground in elementary when fellow students I did not know well would approach and suddenly just start sharing everything they held in their hearts. People often found me a safe place to land, and bust the hatch wide open, though interestingly I was unaware of this gift and service, until things all started coming together for me just a few years ago, and I began reflecting- searching for those hints I was given along the way.  Many, of course, I was not yet ready to develop into full blown conclusions about the direction of my life.  Oh, but they were there- for a long time.

I recall never fitting in growing up, and so my mask I reached for often was humor.  My depth and perception of life was often alienating.  I could feel so many peoples’ sadness, and it was all around me.  I could feel their joy, too, but the sadness is what really grabs a hold of you.  I truly loved everybody when I was younger, and carried the pain for so many whom were mistreated by others.

 It was not until around middle school that I began fighting that part of my nature a bit.  I tried the “cool” girl thing, which always felt mean, cold, and uncomfortable to me, but hey, you have to fit in, and have friends, right?  I hope you are either shaking your head, or laughing as you recall this ridiculous feeling so many of us were prone to during that period of our lives, and perhaps some of you still today.  I am most grateful I retired that shortly after graduation from high school, but alas, I still wore a cloak of protection around my ‘gifts’.

Today, I look back on my life as a child and teenager and truly wonder, “Who in the world was I?  How did people perceive me?”, and I wonder this not because I need the answer, but because I recognize the stark difference between that world and this one.  I frequently kid with others and say I feel I have lived several lifetimes in the last 15 years, and perhaps I have.  Perhaps I have.

Yours along the journey,

Lindsay

Who've you designated as your COMMANDER?

Model: Amanda Hastings Photographer: Dawni Burton Christensen

 Our subconscious and conscious mind alike, desire and actively seek a leader. When you don't acknowledge and empower yourself to fill this role in your own life, your mind softens and looks elsewhere.

For too long, many people have been

led astray by the belief that our leader is something or someone outside of ourselves, and so we have allowed ideas that don't originate within us to guide our choices, identities, and actions.

YOU must make the conscious choice to step up as your own leader, and create and navigate your life as the Commander-in-Chief. Your power belongs to you, be careful not to give it away to others without intention and care.

Show up for yourself, and things will rapidly shift. Simply bringing awareness to the ways you have given away your power to others, and acknowledging the origin and guiding force of thoughts and feelings is an empowering and freeing act. Embrace your OWNERSHIP and commanding power over your life. You are strength and love manifest- now use it!

the phoenix

And then you have those perfect nights, and all the dust that has settled in your life is blown away, and you realize nothing was ever that far from your heart. All is peaceful, beautiful, and poetic- even the challenges, confusion and heartache...it's all part of the great mystery that keeps our hearts full and present. You need the juxtaposition to stay humbled and grounded. Remember it is all perfect, even the heartache, YES, even the heartache. And the phoenix is born...again, and life is whole.

Namaste friends,

Lindsay

where did it all come from- examining your roots?

The expectations you set, and the stories you believe about yourself that often guide you daily- who created them? YOU? External forces? Parents, friends, siblings, partners, your children, society- all of the above?

I encourage you to pause and think about the origin of those guiding forces. If YOU did not create them, or you created them from a place of self-hatred, insecurity, anger, etc.- they don't belong to you, and have NO business guiding you.

Check in with your heart and ask it what is REALLY yours. Discover what was born in love for self and your best interests. Then, THANK and FORGIVE all the other voices who have echoed in your head for a lifetime, including yours, and release them to the wind.

You are already FREE- now let yourself be so.

Examining yourself through the lens of the root chakra...

In exploring the Root Chakra, let's be clear about a few things. When exploring our energy system, it is very important that you understand that physical manifestations and illness, "dis-eases" in our body are OFTEN a result of an emotional wound or pattern of thought, or repression that was not addressed. This information may be met with skepticism by some of you, but it is the absolute scientific truth. "Darn!"- now you have to take full responsibility for your health.  This is actually a very thrilling and empowering recognition as this means you can heal a lot of what you are going through, by integrating your mind, body and spirit through heartfelt, soulful work.  Then, after you do that bring doctors in to support your journey back to health if you cannot remedy the situation on your own.

So while we are speaking about physical manifestations, we are also speaking about symbolic awareness of what is occurring in your system. Symbolic sight is the greatest preventative medicine out there. This offers you the ability to nurture, heal, and feed yourself in the appropriate, desired, and often needed ways. Please keep this in mind as we explore this section, because we are largely going to talk about the symbolic nature of the system. Just because you cannot see it, and you are not yet suffering from some form of illness does not mean the problem is not there. Any of you feel fatigue, low energy, moody, or wrestle with insomnia despite your active lifestyle, and healthy diet? That is what I am talking about, too. It is my strong opinion that healing and integrating your soul is the most practical, successful, and lasting form of medicine you will ever find.

The energy of the first chakra is related almost entirely to our "tribal power" as Caroline Myss calls it. When we are born, by nature we depend entirely on others for survival- it's unavoidable. As we learn and grow in our families, tribes, or villages, we are too being filled by the patterns of thought, the behaviors, moral codes, unspoken and spoken expectations of the tribe, and so forth. These early tribal years are some of the most important in our our lives because they literally shape the neural pathways in our brains, and create our responses, thought patterns, behaviors, perspectives, and ideas about how we relate to life, and who we THINK we are SUPPOSED to be. It creates our identity and our governing culture.

In other words, the Root Chakra is the FOUNDATION of your emotional and mental health.  If your foundation is not healed, whole and strong, you better believe that other patterns, health problems, chronic pain, and other challenging situations will continue rearing their heads in your life.

The tribal energy is a very important one- at its best, it teaches us love, loyalty, safety, team work, bonding, and roots us in the truth- WE ARE ALL ONE. However, the energy that manifests when we are operating in a space of fear is that of abandonment, loss of physical life, and order. The underbelly of this tribal energy is that group identity can take away feelings of power of the individuals in the tribe if they disagree. It can hold people hostage, or create a sense of guilt and loss if the individual chooses to feel differently from the group. As well, it makes it easy for the individual to become apathetic, hopeless, and not take responsibility for their individual actions because "everybody else is doing it", or feel "what's the point, I have no power in this dynamic?", so it is important that YOU become conscious of this and how it plays a role in your life.

Tonight, for those of you following the conversation, I really encourage you to reflect on your tribal culture (and many of us have multiple tribes- family, friends, workplace, political, spiritual/religious, etc.). Think about all the dynamics in these various cultures that bring you discomfort, or perhaps cause fear, doubt, shame, or anger to creep into your experience, and write them down. Focus on all the messages and stories of those tribes that no longer resonate with your being, the belief systems, or thought patterns that you inherited. What fits well, and what doesn't? Is there any unfinished business that needs to be resolved with someone?

Then think about all the things that empower you in your tribes? What sits close to your heart that you want to continue feeding? What qualities do you want to pass on and share with others? What blessings came from your family?

If you are feeling courageous enough, please feel free to share on here what you come up with. My hope is that we can all start discussing these things openly- authentically. I want each of you to embrace who you are, where you came from, and what it is now time to let go of so you can move forward to the next leg of the journey. In the next few days we will be wrapping up the Root Chakra discussion, and moving on to the Sacral Chakra. Don't hesitate to throw your questions out- I promise to do my very best to offer insight and information that will support you.

Love and Light,

Lindsay

The Power of Identification

We all identify as something: a friend, a mother, a partner, a social worker, a political party member, scared, angry, fearful, weak, beautiful, strong, creative, and so forth.  Words are very powerful things, and our thoughts and feelings are the creative action that then create our reality using these very words.  So just who have you 'identified' yourself to be?  Who have you created, and allowed to express itself?

For whatever reason, this realization and conversation seems somewhat new to a lot of folks.  But this wisdom is ancient, and knows its place.  It has been speaking through us, and to us for many years, yet a lot of us have denied its truth in pursuit of world full of perceptions not always based in reality, or our best interest- as individuals and the collective.  It is a world that we have created to protect ourselves by ignoring (in a lot of ways) our deepest need and desire to understand, know, and be one with our soul.

Ironically, many of us have chosen not to deal with our shadow side head on, instead we have let our false perceptions of the shadow enslave us unknowingly by the simple act of neglect.  We have learned to neglect feelings and experiences that hurt us, or challenge us, or expose our insecurities.  For too long we have reached for masks instead of mirrors, and become so unfamiliar with our own reflections that it frightens us to look because it feels sometimes as if a stranger peers back at us.

That repression and denial has not saved us from hardship- it has reinforced it.  It has splintered us and hardened us.  This continued act depletes us more with every moment.  And as we are depleted, we are further disconnected- from ourselves, and the world around us.  When we are not living with harmony in ourselves, we cannot expect to find that in the world around us because we only tend to understand the world from our lens of our perception and reality.

We are at a critical point in our world, where the time has come for people to shift back to our natural, harmonious state.  Our disconnection is breaking things down at a rapid pace, and on a large scale.  This is not who we are meant to be, nor should be.  The chaotic, detached, protective, jealous, angry, sad, and scared feelings to which some of us have become so familiar with, and in many cases identified with, have got to go.  Scram, get them out of here.  They don't serve me through you, and I certainly know they don't serve you either.  They keep you low.  And your energy and vibration affect this world- sorry- they do.  But that is not who we are, and how we are meant to function.

We are meant to be free, full of joy and love.  These things are not special and unique only to a few, they are OURS.  They exist right there within us, just beyond our current beliefs that would tell us otherwise.  The time has come to embrace yourself- all of it, and move forward with all those pieces as one.

Use the divine system that we were gifted; quit trying so hard to deny yourself all the beauty and wonder this life has to offer.  The tree of life is pregnant with abundance, peace, connection, and love.  Now pick it- it is yours to take.

Yours in sacred, loving service,

Lindsay

Learning to ROCK it...

Learning to rock "it" is quite the fun challenge some days.  It comes with its lessons and aha's, but it is always revealing about where you ARE in that moment.  Learning to rock it is all about grace and vulnerability, with a good bit of compassion--for self.  There need be little else in the equation.

Grace comes when you embrace every bit of who you are: what you are thinking, what begs for your attention, what is natural, and what feels like it needs a silly comment to shake off because your ego really reared its head in you in a bold way.

It is not about the narrow path you tip-toe across so as not to lose your balance and fall in the bush.   It means falling in the bush, and laughing your ass off at your self, because well- it was funny, and you are learning- ALWAYS.

Grace means letting whatever step you take in each moment be an indicator of the proceeding action.  It is living as the creator, and continuously sculpting the divine art that you are, and always becoming.

Vulnerability is roughly the same thing as grace, only it sounds 'scarier' to a lot of us because we have been programmed by life and circumstance to think that vulnerability somehow relates to weakness.  Though in truth, the spiritual version of vulnerability is something far more beautiful than one could ever have imagined.

Vulnerability is a soft, open heart- that owns, with confidence, every step we discussed above, and also expresses aloud to those in one's world -who need to hear it- exactly what it is that is being experienced.  It embraces one where they are strong- where they need support...where they are with things in each and every moment.  It is such a gift of humility and love.

Compassion simply means non-judgment.  It sees the light in you, AND- the darkness, too. Compassion sees these and acknowledges the perfection and wisdom in them both- gratefully, and willingly.

Learning to rock it is a beautiful, beautiful thing, and can come with such ease once you allow yourself to experience ROCKING IT in all its divine glory.

Don't be afraid to work it, every day- in every authentic way you can muster the love and courage to. Trust me, it feels so GOOD, even when it hurts.

Yeehaw...

Much joy to you along the ride, fine folks!

Lindsay

What Commands Your Attention?

Some days it becomes crystal clear to me that I need some space free of interactions with others.  Instead of ignoring this, and willfully, and often selfishly engaging others when I have nothing loving and positive to offer- I now make it a point to step away, and be with myself.

In the silence, and company of myself it is then I become aware of what needs attention in me.  Sometimes I notice my energy was just matching another person's, and it was simply a matter of removing myself from that vibration, and other times it is clearly my imbalance that was charging the room.  Either way, I become clear about ME- the only thing in the world I can change, when and how, I want to.  The only person in the world for whom I am entirely responsible.  The only person in the world to which I have full and complete access.

It is important we learn to honor this call to walk away, or stay and endure, or better yet- deeply enjoy the experience.  These moments teach us to be fully present with ourselves, and to nurture our every need- keeping us clear and light for all that may come next.

If you ever find yourself in a situation where you can no longer interact with someone with an open-heart, you must learn to walk away and sit with yourself.  THEY did not shut your heart down, something WITHIN YOU being triggered did.  Ask it for its wisdom.  There is no sense in spending time focused on anything outside of that- your harmonious, resting state cannot be challenged by the words, actions, or energy of others unless you are not living with yourself harmoniously.  If this is the case, reflect on your actions and thoughts and see what you can learn about ways you may be out of balance.

It's all a learning curve, and you get better all the time at tiptoeing gracefully across the center of your teeter-totter, soon it will be only seldom that you find yourself on either end of that ride.  The more keen your connection to self, and integrated your life is, the more quickly you are able to shift the energy and actions of your life, and remarkably- the less you have to be concerned with doing it because you will discover soon your awareness is available to you always, and it's the primary thing you need in these moments.  You will know where to go next from there.

Become your own lighthouse...

In love. Be love. I am love.